Self-worth and self-confidence are topics that are very broad. But, the most important thing about the two points, is that our own opinion of ourselves is what matters most. Many times we are hard on ourselves and it is essential that we are compassionate and caring towards ourselves. We benefit by loving ourselves unconditionally. Our emotional core, just like our physical core is the center of our views about us. Just as our self-love can enhance our self-worth, when we are critical or judge ourselves we can cause injury to our emotional core. Also, when we lean on others for their approval we set ourselves up for unfair judgment. So, how can we remember this critical point during the course of our daily lives?
- Become aware and mindful of your self-talk and negative thoughts. When you notice the negativity creep in, catch it, name it and throw it up in the air, as if throwing a huge weight off your shoulders. Realize it for what it is, self-limiting thoughts that take away from our emotional core. Remind yourself that it is just a thought and not a fact.
- Change the narrative in your life. This seems so simple, as if we are telling ourselves a story, one with positive elements. Our emotional core and self-image is based on the stories we tell ourselves. Where are those stories coming from? Are they from others who unknowingly send the wrong feedback, or are they stories we have made up through time, based on experiences, or are they in reaction to a negative event? No matter where the destructive stories come from, become aware that they are hurtful to us, much like a negative comment could be hurtful to a friend. Anotherwards, be your own best friend. Tell yourself a positive narrative each day and repeat it whenever that pesky negative thought comes into play. Affirming the positive will allow it to come forward in your life more often. It can be fun to rewrite your positive story and relearn things about yourself-things that are good for your emotional core! Soon you will be believing all those positive affirmations.
- Keep a “Positive Core” journal. Leave it beside your bed or by your coffee nook so you can look through it each morning or before bedtime. Write down 3 things you liked about yourself that day and read it the next day, thinking about it. Keep writing each day-adding 3 things/day to your journal. Continue doing this exercise for the next 30 days. Soon, you will see a change in your thoughts.
Self-confidence correlates with a happy and fulfilling life. Individuals that are self-confident usually experience less anxiety and fear or apprehension. When your elf-confidence is low, you may sometimes ruminate or worry excessively about your mistakes (or actions you perceive as mistakes), which causes us to really believe the negativity and distance ourselves from a fulfilling life. Building up your confidence and self-worth is best accomplished by taking small loving steps for yourself. It does not come easily at first and may be challenging. But like anything else, the more you do it, the easier it becomes and the more long-lasting it will be. You will become more self-assured as you continue to grow. Think about small accomplishments you have achieved or small goals you have mastered. Build upon those.
As you become more self-confident you will be able to try new things more readily. You will rely less upon others for meeting your emotional needs and your self-love will carry you through trying times. The funny thing is that as you build up your self-confidence, you can accept your weaknesses with love. You will learn that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, even the strongest among us! Confidence helps us to build upon our strengths and accept life with more interest. It can even lead to our meaning and purpose in life and bring us closer to our authentic self. How uplifting!